Babe in the Woods vs. Titanic Manny
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Balitang Kutsero
by Perry Diaz
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n a recent interview with the media, presidential wannabe Manny Villar said that “it’s about time the
Philippines has its first business-titan president.” And then he went on to portray frontrunner Noynoy Aquino
as “a ‘babe in the woods’ who knew nothing about running a company or a bureaucracy, or even a family.”
Whoa! That’s below the belt Manny! It looks like this is going to be like the biblical battle between David and
Goliath. Yup, it is going to be “Babe in the Woods” vs. “Titanic Manny.”
During a presidential debate, Titanic Manny questioned Noynoy’s ability to implement real reforms. Noynoy
came swinging out saying that Titanic Manny didn’t take the lead in questioning the scandals in Gloria’s
administration. “When push came to shove, where were you? What have you done?” Noynoy said. Actually,
Titanic Manny did a lot of things… that is, making lots of money for himself.
Well folks, name-calling in the presidential campaign has started. Everybody is fair game and anything goes
-- below or above the belt. Sen. Dick “Flashy Dick” Gordon, another presidential wannabe, asked Titanic
Manny if he was just running for President to protect his businesses. Titanic Manny complained on radio,
“They’re ganging up on me.” No, sir! They just want to know the truth about the C-5 “double insertion”
scandal. Right on, Dick!
Dick also asked President Macapagal Arroyo, who is running for Congress, if she was running to conceal
her sins? What sins? Does Dick know something we don’t know about? It’s getting hotter over there. Whew!
Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile was targeted by supporters of Titanic Manny in the Senate for authoring
the committee report that found him guilty of ethics violations in regard to the “double insertion” scandal. A
coup against Enrile was reportedly being hatched by Sen. Edgardo Angara. Enrile retaliated by threatening to
reorganize the Senate committees. Nobody wanted to lose their committee chairs, and the coup fizzled out.
Yep, what can a bunch of amateurs do to the old fox? Enrile may be an octogenarian but they got to be
careful because he was one of the “Rolex 12” who planned and executed martial law in 1972. You can’t beat
the old fox at his own game.
The Catholic bishops weren’t too happy with Noynoy’s stance on the controversial Reproductive Health bill
which is now pending in Congress. They posted on their website a warning that “the candidacies of pro-RH
bill politicians – especially survey leader Sen. Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino III (Liberal Party) – would suffer if
Catholics would seriously take the call from church leaders not to vote for those favoring RH bill.” Wow! That’
s a stinger! Maybe the bishops wanted Noynoy -- who is a bachelor -- to get married and start making a lot of
“babes in the woods.”
Titanic Manny said that “becoming president of the country is his last dream.” Didn’t Gloria say the same
thing before? Look what happened. After the presidency she wants to be a congresswoman, and then
Speaker of the House, and then Prime Minister for life. That was one hell of a long dream she had.
Titanic Manny boasted that he’s been married for 40 years to the same woman. Bah! No big deal! Erap and
Loi Estrada celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last December. The difference is that Erap had six
mistresses and Titanic Manny wouldn’t admit to having one. It’s either he didn’t have any or he’s just too
scared to tell his wife.
A news report says: “Presidential candidate Gilbert (Gibo) Teodoro, a former secretary of national defense,
is proposing a national development plan that includes interconnecting the country’s main islands through a
modern network of bridges or tunnels.” Fantastic! It would really be ideal for Gibo to run as Titanic Manny’s
vice presidential running mate. If both of them win, Titanic Manny can build all the roads on all the islands
and Gibo can build all the bridges to connect the islands.
Lito Banayo, a columnist and political consultant, wrote an article -- “Her” man -- saying that Gloria’s “secret
candidate” is Manny Villar. This is going to be a battle royale -- Noynoy, the “babe in the woods,” versus
Titanic Manny and Gloriath. And what would happen to Gloria’s anointed candidate, Gibo Teodoro? The
Japanese would say, “Sayonara, oka san.” The Italian would say, “Arrivederci, paisan.” The French would
say, “Adieu, mon amie.” The Hawaiian would say, “Aloha, bro.” And the Pinoy would say, “Ha ha ha…”
For the fourth time, government agents searched Gov. Ampatuan’ mansion for arms and found nothing
again. However, the first time they found P400,000 in cash. Then the last time they found another P150,000.
However, nobody knows where the money went. And nobody was complaining about it either. Hmmm….
News Item: “Pacquiao could be beaten -- by two men.” “There’s one way to beat Manny Pacquiao, and it
would need the clone of two great warriors the Filipino boxer had previously beaten” -- Erik Morales and
Miguel Cotto. Well, cloning takes time. Why don’t they just put Pacquiao in the same ring with Morales and
Cotto. And to make it more interesting, include Floyd Mayweather too. Like they say, “Matira ang matibay”
(Last man standing wins).
I ran into an article posted on www.themetrolife.blogspot.com. It says:
Inkris Your Bocabulary
by Manny Pacquiao
1. TACTICS - tunog ng orasan (sound of the time (tic tac))
2. NO PEER - nike commercial (no fear)
3. MOTOR KID - paglibot nya sa Manila (going around in Manila)
4. CHECK IN - manok sa McDo (chicken from Mcdo)
5. CORRUPT - pagsara ng mata (closing your eyes) (I don’t really get this one)
6. WIT - timbang (weight)
7. DUET - gawin mo (do it)
8. NOODLE - sagot kay Kris sa Deal or No Deal (no deal)
9. QUOTES - tawag nya kay Freddie Roach (coach)
10. CAKE - sipa (kick)
11. PANTS - suntok (punch)
12. LEAP - kaliwa (left)
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